pisces baby
the ocean is a rough place for all.
welcome to pisces season. my season. the season of a tight chest for no reason and every reason. of feeling the vibe in the room before anyone speaks. pisces invented vibe. may i offer you some sea shells?
growing up, my grandmother would always say people born in march are pazza or pazzo because of the ides of march, julius caesar, or some other italian superstition she picked up as a teen in naples. she said it lovingly. yes, crazy, but deep feelers. drawn to water. naturally mystic. even though we were catholic, we understood the munaciello and listened wide-eyed when she told us about san gennaro, about his blood liquefying, about the miracle that sits at the center of neapolitan faith.
basically, we feel it all. and maybe that makes us crazy.
i don’t always love this trait. it’s giving chrissy from now and then. sweet. damp-eyed. too trusting. i never thought being branded pisces was that serious but dear goddess, do i fit the bill. i call, i try, i overextend. i hand people entire oceans and then feel personally victimized when they offer back a paper cup of lukewarm sink water.
and when that happens, i don’t just get sad. i sink. straight to the ocean floor. form into a sea witch. i don’t want your vibe disrupting my vibe anymore. i am ariel and ursula at once. tender-finned. heart-ripped-out devoted. dramatic but not wrong.
i would love to simply see a movie and not have it relate to my entire existence. or let a memory happen and pass. i would be less tired all the time.
pisces is a sign that needs to feel, and feel we shall! sometimes it’s like living as an infinity pool with no edge, emotions spilling past what the body can reasonably hold... i have had to develop my tricks over the years to find stoicism in tough moments. pleasure helps us release. damn... thinking about it, should all pisces get a prescription for endless amounts of lube??? it’s always referred to as waves of pleasure. that’s so pisces branding. there is nothing, to me, like the ride of a hitachi magic wand. i’m sensitive (yep, physically and emotionally), so silicone only. always body-safe, non-porous.
the world loves a cool girl with a sealed heart and a faint frown. i wouldn’t last five minutes as a lily-rose depp-type. sure, i can detach when i’m wrung out. that’s the other side of the fish. but the real truth is this: big feelings are an asset. yes, we need alone time. yes, we will cry. yes, we will tell you exactly how that made us feel. and then we will make art out of it.
and if that’s too much for someone? let them have less. they don’t need to swim in our ocean. there’s a perfectly good kiddie pool over there.
read next: chlorine by jade song
also drifting around: circe invidiosa by john william waterhouse
from the archive: ugly girl core
siren song: high by the beach by lana del rey
fall into the mysticism: the pasta tarot
